Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
