Whod you bang
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
