I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
