break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
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Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.