I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
