What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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