Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
