3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
