Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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