that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
