so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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