Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
