i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
now i know why i became what i already was.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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