You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
