what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize