is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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