Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
