i don't plan on having that self control this summer
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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