i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize