i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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