I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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