Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
