Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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