Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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