When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert