did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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