Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize