sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
