Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
