does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
