She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
