Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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