She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
