I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
