My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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