I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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