Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
