Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
