The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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