its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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