Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
