No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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