I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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