According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
