i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
