My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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