Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
where does the pee come out of this thing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
