I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize