how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
