Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
