Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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