You just made me feel so damn special
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
