i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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