nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
