Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
