I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
