i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
