I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
